Ever felt a little lonely? Wished that Mr/Mrs right would come and sweep you off your feet? Forget it – that stuff belongs in Fairy Tales and you’d better take control now before you fall into your own self-dug pit of obscurity. Loneliness is a frame of mind – even people in relationships feel lonely (why exactly we’ve not figured out. You’d think having a partner at their beck and call would be enough but no!)
No sir, sitting there and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to sort anything out so if you find yourself bursting into tears every time you see an couple holding hands read on..
Fill your face – works a treat this one and you’ll feel so satisfied you’ll forget that you need a partner, just some chocolate to complete the nosh-fest.
Start the Atkins Diet – After eating your weight in cow for a couple of days, your breath will tell that you should stay away from people (and not to come out again until you’ve lost at least 5lbs)
Search out an unhappy celebrity on the net – Everyone likes to know that there is an underdog among us and what better mood booster than finding the latest celebrity who’s going through a meltdown.
After all, some hard-earned cash has contributed to their happiness so we want to see a little misery as part of the bargain.
Hire a pet – Foster a dog or cat. We guarantee that after a week of cleaning up its crap you’ll be happy you never bought one. Better still, buy a virtual pet keyring and take the battery out just before it’s first birthday. The cyber-mortality issues will distract you to the point of madness and in no time at all, you’ll forget that you’ve been watching Bridget Jones for the 100th time.
Find a photograph of an ex and stick it to the inside lid of your bin. At least that way, when you’ve finished filling your face from our first suggestion you’ll at least see their face heading south into the remainder of the food-fest you are now feeling guilty about.
Pretend you’ve just dumped someone – Focusing on making someone imaginary miserable will distract you from your self-loathing and you’ll get some practice in should the situation ever arise. Quite handy indeed.
Get a one person bed - Takes up less space and you’ll get used to it soon enough.
Photobomb someone’s romantic moment – who said they can’t have an open relationship? Go on, get in there and spoil that picture of happiness! If you’re lucky, your face will appear on Photobomb and you’ll be world famous!
Buy some porn and learn something new about to ‘do it’ the professional way. At the very least, you’ll be prepared for your next encounter and my, what an encounter that will be.
Browse an internet dating site and look for people who you think are way too attractive for you. Write a few practice messages and imagine what your first date would be like. If you found that easy enough, actually send one of the messages. As the great sage, Susan Jeffers once said ‘ Feel the fear and do it anyway’.
We know there are many more intelligent ‘coping mechanisms’ out there so why not give us a few of yours?
I love it!! What a great website!! I love the garbage bin idea!