Could we all be ‘Bi’?

No, no, no, absolutely not, not a chance. Ok, but just imagine if you can, throw wide open the boundaries and restrictions of all that you know. Everything we do, how we behave, how we think we should live our lives is pre-determined and indoctrinated from the day we are born. Society and how we interact with each other has developed in the way which we have formed it. Who’s to say it’s correct? Nothing was written in stone, there were no guidelines or rules laid out by Mother Nature, we made them all up ourselves. Ok, so all species pro-create and you usually need a male and female. A man and a woman are able to make a baby and keep the human species multiplying, blah blahh. However, nature does not dictate that we are monogamous and should find a mate of the opposite sex and mate only with that mate.

Pre-pubescent children innocently flirt with the opposite sex in the school playground, this isn’t because we find the opposite sex ‘’sexy’’ at that stage, it’s because we have already grown up seeing our mummy and daddy and knowing that one day we will have a boyfriend or girlfriend. We are surrounded by the conventionalism we have created since the day we are born. It would be an interesting experiment to raise 10 male babies and 10 female babies on an island with absolutely no pre-determined influences and see how they turn out. No media, no role models, no disciplines, rules, expectations!

Human beings experience variety in everything so why not sex, why is it so wrong? And what is ‘’sex’’ in any case. The word itself means something completely different to men than it does to women, therefore as a long term sexual partner, maybe we would all be better matched choosing the same sex. Animals have sexual intercourse because of instinct and not pleasure. Human beings have sexual intercourse for pleasure. It is born out of our desire for intimacy, to touch, feel, love and care for another. A body is flesh and blood and bone, not the person and aren’t we supposed to fall in love with the person. So why are we restricted by which body parts we each have?

I am a woman and a person, I don’t want to be labeled as gay, or hetero or lesbian, not bisexual or A-sexual. Why do we have to fit into or be put into a certain sexual mold. I feel and I love and fleshy bits have never determined whom I should love. Ok, so visual attraction is important to most people and many of us make the mistake of choosing a partner initially through visual attraction and lust. Unfortunately this phase quickly wears off and then IF the relationship survives which mostly they don’t, we begin the real relationship with the real person. Will we ever learn to listen to our feelings and connect to people through that feeling rather than the visual stimulating our senses.

I can remember myself in that playground around 10 years old and I remember clearly that I wasn’t differentiating between the sexes, I would chase the person that I was interested in. I didn’t understand it but I would blush and feel funny feelings with one of my girl friends just the same as with boys. I had a huge crush on my English teacher, Mrs Lawton in secondary school. Of course I didn’t understand it or think about it too much because I knew that girls are supposed to like boys and therefore it wasn’t until my 24^th that I had my first female relationship.

Some people call it ‘’confused’’…to me, I wasn’t confused, I was listening to my innocent child like feelings , they were natural and not formed by any external influences. I had a normal family upbringing with conventional morals and rules so why wasn’t  I gender restricted. I don’t know, maybe it has to do with my own personal nature and character. I’ve always been free spirited and have never bode well with rules and restrictions or prejudice. Conformity is and always has been a scary word for me. Some children just do something because they are told to without question and accept that that’s the way it is. Even as adults with our own minds we do things without questioning. I’ve always questioned and I’ve always felt free to do whatever I want, maybe too much freedom,  but hell, life to me is for experimenting and exploring.